It’s been so long since I have written here and so so much has happened in my life in the past 6 months. I have moved to Sweden. I found a family. I am now leaving to a new family. I have a boyfriend now. And I have fallen head over heals in love with Sweden. So much so that I plan on staying here.
Since I have been in Sweden, I have made lots of new friends. I have had a few adventures, but I have had almost zero time to travel. I will be traveling a bit more in the spring and summer and I cannot wait to start more adventures. While I have been away from writing I have been working non stop. When I am not working I am with the fabulous Jimmy (my boyfriend for those that don’t know).
Time isn’t the only reason I haven’t been writing and that is why I am really writing this. My closest family and friends know that I struggle a bit with anxiety. Well that has been ever so present in my life and I have finally come to terms with a) I’m not crazy b) this isn’t embarrassing or shameful and c) I need to be okay with admitting that I have anxiety to public. I have been working through a lot of issues that have resurfaced and/or have recently come up.
There is absolutely nothing I hate more in this world than having anxiety attacks. I feel like I am absolutely insane. I feel as though I won’t ever be normal and it makes me so fearful of so many things. It has embarrassed me on one to many occasions and on some days it can go as far as controlling my every move. There have been days I have to force myself to leave the house. The fact that I feel I am being controlled by this burden makes me become controlling of everything around me. It has been such a rough journey.
Here’s the hardest part to admit… I am so fed up with having this issue and having it now start to effect the people around me that, as of yesterday I have decided to start talking to a therapist. There I said it. It doesn’t mean I am crazy; it doesn’t mean I am not normal; it simply means that I have a mental health issue that is beyond my ability to cope with and I just need a little help and a professional who can listen.
I am so lucky to not only have a wonderful family back in Seattle who has been supporting me and helping me with my struggles but I also have now two wonderful families here in Stockholm as well. Jimmy’s family has been so supportive and loving and they have also been kind enough to let me stay with them on most weekends! I have also found a new family who has already treated me with love and acceptance and I have not even started working for them yet. I am so excited to move on and become a healthier happier Riley Dayle Cochran.
So, now begins my new adventure. While I am here in Sweden and Finland (Jimmy is Finnish) I am now on a mental journey. I am not able to travel much and for right now that is really okay with me. I get to go on a new adventure and find my inner happiness. I will be trying my best to blog about all of my adventures (mental and physical). I cannot wait to see the outcome of this new stage of my life!
I am not able to post pictures at the moment because I am using someone elses computer but stick around and you will get to see what beautiful Stockholm, Sweden looks like through the eyes of Riley Cochran!
Leave your comments below or email me at riley@rileycochran.me
xoxo
Riley
